Regarding couples therapy. I was mortified when I first saw a couple and then for the second session the husband DNA’d. I wasn’t surprised really but I took it personally. Then I was relieved that he wasn’t coming back. So I carried on seeing the wife for a good few sessions. Who knows the reasons why clients DNA. There could be a host of valid reasons but then something clicks in their brains and for whatever it is they decide not to go back to therapy.
So I agree that it would be useful for the therapist to have a clause in their contract regarding DNA’s for them to at least let their therapist know they are not returning for therapy so that a client on a waiting list can take their place.
I learned to gauge the wife or husband’s reactions / body language in subsequent first sessions and as soon I predicted one of them wasn’t coming back I accepted it. This was a turning point for me and with supervision I learned not to take DNA’s personally.
Plus it gave me an understanding of the dynamics of couples relationships.
I worked for an emergency services and I know for sure there is an element of embarrassment if say the husband was to be seen by his colleagues, attending for therapy. Or if the wife demanded the husband attend therapy against his will.
Needless to say when a couple continued to see me for a number of sessions I was happy, but I never lost sight that there will be times when one of a couple will without any explanation or an apology just not come back for therapy.
Same when I see a single client.
Us therapists have a six sense, which is a real advantage, isn’t it.
Excellent Replay from 11th October Q&A.
Regarding couples therapy. I was mortified when I first saw a couple and then for the second session the husband DNA’d. I wasn’t surprised really but I took it personally. Then I was relieved that he wasn’t coming back. So I carried on seeing the wife for a good few sessions. Who knows the reasons why clients DNA. There could be a host of valid reasons but then something clicks in their brains and for whatever it is they decide not to go back to therapy.
So I agree that it would be useful for the therapist to have a clause in their contract regarding DNA’s for them to at least let their therapist know they are not returning for therapy so that a client on a waiting list can take their place.
I learned to gauge the wife or husband’s reactions / body language in subsequent first sessions and as soon I predicted one of them wasn’t coming back I accepted it. This was a turning point for me and with supervision I learned not to take DNA’s personally.
Plus it gave me an understanding of the dynamics of couples relationships.
I worked for an emergency services and I know for sure there is an element of embarrassment if say the husband was to be seen by his colleagues, attending for therapy. Or if the wife demanded the husband attend therapy against his will.
Needless to say when a couple continued to see me for a number of sessions I was happy, but I never lost sight that there will be times when one of a couple will without any explanation or an apology just not come back for therapy.
Same when I see a single client.
Us therapists have a six sense, which is a real advantage, isn’t it.
Really useful reflections thank you for sharing carol